


Lights Out

by J_Jubilee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Best Friends, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Gen, Insomnia, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22687741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Jubilee/pseuds/J_Jubilee
Summary: Getting sleep is easier said than done.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Lights Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Firewins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firewins/gifts).



> This a quick drabble for my cryptid babie whose birthday is today uwu. Hope you like it!!💋💜💜😍

Bucky spends the first week out of cryo trying to sleep.

It's a… difficult task to say the least. The fact of the matter is that while he is a super soldier like Steve the serum Hydra gave him wasn't exactly as potent nor the results as strong. He wishes he had the other's minimal need for sleep and ability to work until he was ready to drop but truthfully once his programming wasn't in effect, he was essentially just a really well trained and oddly strong human.

This is why he finds himself in a 7-Eleven at a ridiculous hour of the morning looking at different concealers.

Bucky Barnes has perpetual bags under his eyes and he is so done.

-

The thing is it started as a small joke around the tower. Sam- plague of his soul really- would make a small comment about his "panda aesthetic" or Clint would ask him if he needed a night light to fall asleep...when really, he was just an insomniac. The one biological distinction that the serum didn't fix was the one that now plagued him the most.

He knew Steve was worried all the time, asking him if he wanted to talk about what was keeping him awake but his best friend wouldn't blame him if he clammed up. He has good reason not to want people picking around in his brain- good intents or not.

The last straw was the interview.

Understandably, with all the lights and everything he could see why they'd need to put makeup on for a news show. Steve sits there and the older ladies fawn over him and his perfect skin and 'lovely undertones' while he tries not to squirm. When the artist comes to do his makeup she gives him a disappointed tut.

"Concealer honey. You should invest in some if this is your everyday look. Bags are cute accessories not face necessities. Look up for me please, I need to colour correct this."

She puts all kinds of stuff on him, and her nails catch on his hair once or twice but when it's over he actually… looks pretty good. He spends a decent amount of time looking at the work in the mirror before someone is pinning a mic to him and ushering him into a somewhat stuff chair. He smiles through the entire thing- his new media tactic from one of the Stark PR interns, and tries not to think about what the makeup artist said. He fails spectacularly.

-

"Can I help you with anything sir?"

He's snapped out of his reverie (dangerous thing to be doing at nearly two am in an abandoned convenience store with his luck) by a girl next to him with a name tag that says 'Dawn'.

He cringes and how tense he got in those two seconds and mentally tries to relax. He gives her a once over out of sheer habit and tries not to smile. Kids these days. She has blue and purple hair and despite being in a dead shift at the most inactive store on this side of New York… she's wearing makeup like she's going on a date.

There's some kind of shimmer on her eyes and her lashes pop a lot and her face looks bright with a nice lip color despite the harsh lighting above them.

"I- honestly have no idea what I'm looking for. I just… I'm really tired of looking like a zombie and I didnt even know there were so many different shades of concealer." He sighs.

This is possibly the most embarrassing situation he's been in with a girl since that time Sally Prames drank too much moonshine and threw up on his shoes when he took her on a date.

"It's okay. We all have to start somewhere right? Why don't you try this one? It's the only brand we stock here because, well this isn't Sephora but it matches your undertones and it's a pretty smooth formula. You might want to get a powder to match with that though. I think we have left, let me see…"

It is three am when he leaves the 7-Eleven and he now has a hotdog, a beer and a bag full of drug store makeup.

This is the start of something...what exactly that something might be is yet to be seen.

-

Now over all the years he's been in and out of cryo some things really never change.

Bucky- the real Bucky and not that thing that they created- has always had some constant habits that Steve noticed.

He would always leave the eggs out of the fridge, he always showered with hot water and then made it cold for the last few seconds, he always drank his coffee black and he always slept on the left side of the bed.

He starts slowly noticing some things after a couple of weeks of Bucky being in the tower. For starters… his friend never sleeps in his bed. Steve's watched him, he's asked Jarvis too and he's asked some opinions of the others and the general consensus is that no one has ever really seen or heard of Bucky falling asleep in that bed.

Objectively speaking it's probably a nice bed, Tony spends good money to make sure everyone is happy with their space in the Tower- even Bucky grudgingly. So when the jokes start floating around that Bucky is the household zombie it grates his nerves a little bit.

They all have their small issues, and it's a known fact that members of the team have to resort to drastic measures to avoid sleep deprivation sometimes so he can't really understand why they'd make Bucky the butt of their jokes now. He'd hoped it would lighten up a bit but the others aren't exactly the nicest with the assassin because of his history.

His hands are reaching for his cup of coffee when someone grabs it away from him with a laugh.

"Thanks Steve, I was really feeling for some coffee." The other super soldier responds with a mirthful smile.

"That was mine you jerk." He chuckled, getting up to pour himself some more and wait until others entered the communal kitchen.

"I know."

"Slept well last night?" He asks with his head halfway into the fridge.

"I… actually I did." He hears Bucky respond quietly. He looks up, expecting to see red eyes and dark circles… but meets neither. There's a smile on the brunette's face and his hair is up. His face seems almost bright and it looks like he had been getting a good night's rest all week if Steve didn't know any better.

They take a couch and talk about their plans for the week- Steve wants to try to go to the Museum again this week for some catching up and Bucky was going to spend some more time in the sparring room- but it's when they get up to go about their day that he notices.

There's a small stain on the corner of Bucky's shirt.. and it looks a bit like makeup? Have things gotten so bad that Bucky really can't sleep at all these days?

Steve frowns but reminds himself to try to talk to the other about it.

-

The first time it happens they're on the Quinjet heading back to debrief. The others are all winding down from the adrenaline rush and Natasha sits with her eyes closed, humming a song and ignoring Clint's twitching and fiddling with his arrows.

Steve had sat down next to Bucky, a source of calm for him as he thought about what he was going to write in his mission report. He looks over to the other, wanting to ask him for advice when he feels a soft puff of air on his neck.

He tenses up unconsciously, and when he looks down the assassin's head is leant on his shoulder, patches of combat kohl around eyes now smudged flaking while his lips purse softly.

He looks so...calm.

The ride back is quiet and Steve only frowns just a little when he has to wake the brunette for their meeting.

It becomes almost a habit, that wherever Steve goes… Bucky eventually follows and summarily falls asleep.

The Sargeant would be found taking cat naps on Steve during team movie nights, in any transport for more than an hour, and occasionally during a debrief if it was too quiet.

The blonde takes another month of this before he mentions it when they're walking back to the tower from the deli.

"Buck, don't you ever sleep in your bed?"

He says it softly but the other still falters in his steps.

"Of course I do Stevie, what do you mean?" He tries to make his smile reassuring but probably fails.

"I've seen it with my own eyes. You have been falling asleep around me nearly every resting moment that isn't mission time but as soon as everyone is in their quarters for the night I have Jarvis telling me you're down on the shooting range at two in the morning."

"That's not a big deal and maybe you should talk to your friends about having their ceiling robots minding my business."

"Listen, it's my job as your friend and leader of the team to make sure you're okay. I can't clear you for combat when I've seen you hiding behind grease paint, makeup and caffeine pills these last six months."

"What? I'm fine, it's nothing I can't handle okay?" There's an edge to his voice and he walks a little faster as though trying to avoid the conversation.

"Bucky please. I'm not asking you to take anything or expecting you to sleep eight hours a night. I'm just asking you to at least come to me when you can't sleep. At least talk to me?"

Bucky takes a deep sigh and waits for the blonde to continue- there would be no stopping him now.

"Do you remember how sick I would get during winter? I'd sound like I was hacking up my lungs and I couldn't sleep because there was so much rattling in my chest and you- you would stay awake with me until I fell asleep. All I'm asking is for you to let me be there for you."

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"I'll be more open when I can't sleep."

He doesn't wait for another response. Just holds his pastrami on rye and paces towards the tower.

-

A week later Steve is reading a book on his Starkpad when there's a knock on his door.

"Come in."

The door opens- a slow hesitant movement before it just slides through- and Bucky comes in with a tablet in his hands. He looks at the other clad in sweatpants and a vest who hasn't even looked up from the seemingly interesting carpet as yet.

"Hey punk… I can't sleep."

There's something in his voice that sounds almost lost and Steve reaches over to put down the tablet and make space on his bed.

"I could turn on the discovery channel… Tony says that's the most boring thing in this century- maybe it would help?"

He gets a chuckle for his attempt before the other carefully comes inside and makes himself comfortable.

"Did you ever have trouble sleeping when we were in the war, Stevie?"

"No. There wasn't much need for me to sleep with the serum. I'd stay up nearly all night drawing, skipping rocks if there was water nearby or practising my French. Guess the other guys might have had that issue though."

"I wish I could just be like that. That Hydra could have at least given me the good stuff so I wouldn't be like this. The reason I hate sleeping is because I hate what I see when I close my eyes Steve. I hate it."

His voice is just a whisper toward the end and his metal arm clutches tightly around the pillow, ripping the stitches just barely.

"Then maybe we can give you new memories to dream about Buck. We can help you figure out how to cope. You're not an asset anymore. You're a member of our team. You're my friend. You're a hero. But right now… you're just tired aren't you?"

"I am. I really am."

"How is it that you always fall asleep when you're near me then?"

"I… I don't get any nightmares when I'm near you. I forget about all of the marks I took down and there's no voices haunting me. I don't dream at all when I fall asleep near you. Not sure how that works. Maybe it's pavlovian or maybe because I trust you."

"I think that makes sense in a way. I'm glad you can come to me Buck. I'm glad you want to get help."

Bucky rolls his eyes dramatically.

"What I want is a beer, so you better take one out of that mini fridge over there Rogers. Don't get all sentimental on me."

When their bottles are long empty they sit in silence for a bit before Steve speaks up again.

"So how did you learn to use makeup to cover up that you weren't sleeping?"

Bucky laughs.

" I just watched a couple of videos on the internet after this girl in the store helped me. You want to see them? I have some on my tablet."

"Sure, Buck."

Twenty minutes into watching the video there's a soft puff of air on his shoulder.

He doesn't even need to look up.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Could you turn off the lights please?"

"Of course, sir."


End file.
